Dear Diary,

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Good evening my dear diary,

It has been almost 23 hours since the last time we met. I missed you a lot, I think that you are the only one worth knowing my secrets. I sure hope so, at least.

Today has been the best day ever. As usual, I woke up early in the morning. It was cloudy and a little bit cold, and I don’t know why, but I felt that this day would be special.

I woke up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and rushed to my little kitchen to put on the coffeepot on the stove. I waited until it started boiling and added three spoons of coffee, my special little Arabian cup, and went straight to the balcony, took a cigarette and stared at the sunrise.

Dear diary,

As I told you last night, I was waiting for the best day to try to go out in public in my female clothes  for the first time. I was waiting for the right moment, when I am ready to be myself, a female, and see the real world in curled beautiful eye lashes, those pretty heels I brought several months ago and kept in my closet, each day bringing them out, imagining how pretty it would be with that cute dress I brought. It’s funny how every time I remember it , it just makes me cry; I don’t know why but it just does.

Although I knew it wouldn’t be that easy to do it and there would be no easy way to make this dream true, I had to do something about it, I needed to be sure that this is what I want and what I need. So I turned on my PC, the headphones on my ears, and played some Fayrouz morning songs: Nasam alayna al-hawa, and khlset eyam el sayfeye wel sabeye shway shwayeh nezlet 3a sahet mays el reem. I went online – MSN, Facebook and Manjam.

An old friend signed in and his popping chat box said “hi”. He is my date for today, I knew it.

Today at 11 PM, we met at his house, I went there holding my bag, put on my dress, and carefully chose the best makeup I trained myself to put on, my wig, and of course my eye lenses.

We went to the night club which all transsexuals and gays go, and suddenly the dream came true, I was Mimi now! Finally the dream came true and no one knew me there. I was new, maybe they saw my picture on my profiles before, but they don’t know me at in person.

I was very happy. It made me feel that I should fly without wings, with no one to hold me and put me again to earth. Hello here is earth planet calling Mimi, are you there? No sure,  I am not! I’m on vacation in heaven now, it is the wonderful sensation of being a female. I knew that this is what I want, this is what I need.

Have sweet dreams my diary, and wish me good luck. I am Mimi now, the girl I always wanted to be even though it was for only one night but I am happy and I am sure about it.

With love,
Mimi

Tags: gender, Transexuality, transgender