Will You Go Out With Me?

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So you really want to take this girl out on a date. Like really really.

She says yes.

You’re off to plan your first date. What do you ask yourself?

Which restaurant serves the best steak?

Which place plays the best music?

What would say fun and cool?

Not really.

*Shoos away the heteronormative (and rather boring) person typing*

Where would we be the most comfortable?

Would she mind if we went to this place?

Where can I be myself?

Not only is it a first date and you’re already somehow nervous – I mean you really like this girl, but you also need to figure out a place and an activity where you two won’t be the center of attention, where you can feel free to hold her hand and worry about her reaction and her reaction only, where you can lean over and kiss her cheek if she says something cute, where you can talk and laugh without having to lower your voices at the words “gay” or “lesbian”…

Dealing with this nuisance differs between one person and another. So, and with no intention of generalizing, these five clans below present themselves (feel free to start your own clan in the comments section):

The “rebellion” clan: They simply do not care what other people think and wouldn’t go out with a girl who cared anyway.

The “revolution” clan: They’d spew venom on any living creature that gave them a weird look and they actually find pleasure in having an abhorred audience.

The “dates-are-overrated” clan: Motto:  “Dates are overrated”.

The “compromising” clan: They’d either take their date to a gay-friendly place or they’d minimize their lovey dovey attitude.

The “domestic” clan: They’d cook up a mean dinner and invite the date over to their place; with their own music, their own atmosphere, and their own bed.

No matter in which clan or intersection of clans you place yourself, you still deal with this issue on a daily basis, be it on a first date or in any sort of public display of affection. Thus, I believe it is important to take into consideration the other person’s comfort and talk about it upfront while involving each other in the decisions you make as to the places you go to, at least until you get to the point where your assumptions regarding your date’s comfort are accurate.

A techie, a perfectionist of the first degree with an extremely active imagination, Athena writes what she feels when she feels it. She’s a huge fan of music, sleeping, gardenias and almost everything that runs on electricity. Honesty, fairness and logic are a huge turn on (no further elaboration). To lure her into anything, approach her with a kitten or a brand new cell phone. And if you must know, one of Athena’s proudest achievements is being a Bekhsoosian.

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