Skinny Jeans
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When I saw that TV ad, telling women you should lose weight to be
          happier and feel better, I convinced myself that I’m not a happy
          person, I should change, I should become that woman in the ad, she
          looks really happy, so I started my weightloss journey, it was so
          hard, mentally and physically, but I did it, I lost around 40 lb, yay
          for me right? Not really!
Today I tried my old jeans on, they were very big, it made me feel really
          happy, like I’ve done it, I lost all the weight I was carrying around,
          all the hurtful comments I heard as a little girl, all the looks, the
          finger pointing, all the tears, and above all, I lost my parents’
          pressure to look “normal”.
I opened my closet and got my new skinny jeans, I bought it to reward
          myself for my hard work, but the sad thing was that I could barely get in it
          – not because I was fat, because it’s too damn skinny-  but after some
          jumping and stretching, I got it in! Woohoo it was a big
          success to me, It fits! but In a weird way this didn’t make me smile,
          or feel proud that I could fit into it, I waited for this moment for
          so long, and now here I am crying on my bed, its not like I imagined
          it will be at all.
Trying to fit into these skinny jeans made me remember all the times I
          went shopping for a plus size one, and when I didn’t find any, I used to tear
          up in the dressing room with the jeans up to my knees refusing to go
          higher, and now here I am pulling the skinny jeans up like I used to
          do before all the weight I lost, and it got stuck at my knees too.
Now I wonder was it worth to lose all that weight, I still am the same
          person, I still have the same feelings of desperation and
          uselessness, and I certainly still have low self-esteem, nothing has
          changed, the ads promised me to be happier, outgoing, and enjoy
          life more, well nothing of that sort happened to me, it was all a big fat
          lie!
Contributed by Amanya47



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