Best of Bekhsoos: “Panties and Bras Included”

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Dear Readers,

As many of you have noticed and complained about, Bekhsoos has been on a break for a while now. We apologize for the absence but sometimes, life happens.

You have made us realize how important Bekhsoos is to you and we thank you for that. Your feelings motivate us to work harder and pour our hearts into this virtual portal in a region where the act of being invisible, has been able to touch so many lives, starting with our own.

For the next few weeks Bekhsoos will be publishing “Best Ofs” from previous issues until we re-launch the magazine. In the meantime we are meeting and discussing with each other until we come out of the box with a common understanding about a new vision for Bekhsoos.

In this week:  A collection of the team’s best writings and most popular pieces. Some are touching, some are brave, others are funny, and some are just a tad kinky!

Enjoy your queer ِArab magazine… 

 

القارئات العزيزات والقراء الأعزاء وما بين ذلك وما خارج ذلك،

كما لاحظتم/ن في الأسابيع الماضية وسجلتم/ن اعتراضكم/ن على الوضع، فقد غابت “بخصوص” واحتجبت عن الصدور كنوع من العطلة الصيفية.

نعتذر عن غيابنا، لكننا أحيانا نضطر لمجاراة الظروف المستجدة.

لقد جعلتمونا ندرك كم أن “بخصوص” مهمة لكم/ن، ونحن نشكركم/ن لذلك من صميم قلوبنا. لقد شكلت مشاعركم/ن دافعا لنا لنعمل بجدّ من جديد، ولنضع قلوبنا وعقولنا ثمارا لهذه الصفحة الافتراضية التي سمحت لنا في خلال السنتين الماضيتين بالبقاء مجهولي/ات الوجوه والأسماء، انما قادرين/ات على احداث تأثير عميق في حياة الكثيرين/ات، ابتداءا بأنفسنا وحياتنا نحن.

نود أن نعلن لكم/ن اليوم ومن دون الاطالة عليكم/ن، أن “بخصوص” ستطل عليكم/ن من جديد في الأسابيع المقبلة، بأعداد تشمل أفضل ما في أرشيفها، إلى أن نقوم باعادة اطلاقها من جديد في بداية شهر تشرين الأول – أكتوبر.

في هذا الوقت، نحن نعمل بكدّ ونعقد الاجتماعات المتواصلة ونتباحث في ما بيننا حتى نصل إلى فهم أكبر لأهداف “بخصوص” في المرحلة المقبلة، وشكلها، ورؤيتها العميقة والمميزة.

في هذا العدد من “بخصوص”، مجموعة من أجمل ما كتب فريق العمل والأكثرها شعبية. بعضها مؤثر،وبعضها شجاع، أمّا البعض الآخر فيحمل طابعاً فكاهياً وجنسياً.

تمتعوا بالمجلّة العربية الحرّة الجنس! 

——-

Inspired by the march to “Take Back the Night” for International Women’s Day in Beirut, Lebanon. Dedicated to my good friend Zee who’s always pushing me to write myself into words.

 

March 9^th 2011.

Take back the night because the morning after, at 25, you still have to argue with your mother who’s pleading that your father is unable to accept the fact that you’re coming home so late.

Take back the night because after marching for hours under heavy rain, chanting and screaming your feminist slogans, soaked in your clothes, you would rather stick to your friends instead of coming home to find all your clothes thrown on your bed and the floor. panties and bras included.

Take back the night because when you wake up at 8 AM the next day, your working mom, who should have been at work by 7:30 AM, is still home cleaning and cooking, while your unemployed father is out -not- finding a job again.

Take back the night because when your brother is out every night till 4 AM, it’s never really an issue, but when you are, you get text messages, phone calls, guilt trips, and your clothes thrown on your bed and the floor. panties and bras included.

Take back the night because your body has its own memories and stories to be told, because your body is confined to a norm, reduced to a role, shaved, plucked, trimmed, waxed, whitened, straightened and starved because women are women, because your body should be limited in its expressions, because your body’s desires are pathologized, and yet your body is still socially-eroticized for “the right kinds of men” over and over and over again, because your body has been bullied in changing rooms, restricted to a shared bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom, sexually assaulted in your very own neighborhood, verbally abused in broad daylight.

Take back the night because so many little girls grow up learning that all of this is normal.

Take back the night because tampons in your backpack automatically mean you’re promiscuous, slutty, and (hetero)sexually-active.

Take back the night because even though your brother, since the age of 16, has been collecting dozens of empty packs of condoms next to his bed, your discrete tampons are the ones that will make headline news at home when you’re 23, and your sexuality will continue to be an issue for years to follow.

Take back the night because even though your mother is this small home’s sole breadwinner, your father gets to keep her ATM card in his wallet.

Take back the night because you try to convince yourself that this is okay, that she has her own secrets as well and that it balances itself out in the end. Except that you know too well that your mother builds her secrets for self-protection. And from what?

Take back the night because that ATM card reminds you of that recurrent scene from your childhood in the old navy Honda outside of the bank. From the back of the car, you watch your mother in the passenger seat handing over her paycheck, one hundred Lebanese Lira stacked over another, to your father. It feels fucked up. You wonder what thoughts travel across her body at that very moment.

Take back the night because even though you graduated from that university and have the coolest job in the world, you still can’t afford to move out of your parents’ home and build a decent life for yourself.

Take back the night because even if you could afford moving out, your parents will still try to disown you and threaten you and tell you they would rather see you spend 5 years abroad getting a phD, 1 500 000 L.L. plane ticket away, instead of being a 2 000 LL service-ride away.

Take back the night because your very own drive, your feminism, or whatever you call it, explodes from within.

Take back the night because no matter who you are, your body, your mind, and your heart experience unspeakable forms of violence every single day.

Take back the night because the night is yours too.