To Femininity

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I remember when I was a kid, how I would get up very early each morning and make sure that everyone else is deeply asleep before I dress up. I didn’t dress up for a debutant ball; I dressed up for a fight. I played the hero in my own movie. Each morning I was a miniature Rambo and each morning my mission was to come up with new ways to kick the living hell out of the bad guys and save my girlfriend (my Barbie). I used whatever I could put my little hands on without any of my parents suspecting the objects missing. I was a careful planner so I managed to keep my daily adventures a secret (I’m pretty proud of that). Before every fight I would toss away my pajamas, slip on a pair of shorts and a belt and tie a ribbon, stolen from my mom’s knitting basket, around my head. Weapon of choice: a small sword I would cut out from the thick carton found at the bottom of the Kleenex box that I would slip under my belt (I still have a thing for kitchen knives). Finally, I was ready and looking good (I’m proud of that too).

As a child I qualified as a huge “tomboy”. But with time femininity “rubbed off” on me. It started when I turned eleven and discovered what it was like to kiss a boy and dye my hair (I never dyed my hair ever since) then it progressed further on until I got to uni. I slowly replaced my baggy pants and boyish shirt with my tight jeans and top. I even started growing my nails and polishing them. I wanted to know what it was like to be “feminine”.

Unfortunately it took me a while to figure out that by doing so I wasn’t becoming more feminine but only trying to adapt to my society’s twisted vision of femininity. A woman, who cuts her hair and nails short, wears boots instead of back/knee killing heels, wide clothes and dislikes fashion and makeup is as feminine as the woman whose looks are the opposite. Femininity isn’t about me following a certain dress code or lifestyle, it’s about being a woman and loving myself for it. It’s about cherishing the woman in me.

I dress as I please whether I put on pants or a skirt and it goes the same for the rest of the “womanhood characterizing features”. My outfit depends of my mood and I believe that each has his/her own personal style, it is to be valued and respected by crossing off the terms feminine/tomboy from our daily vocabulary. Categories don’t apply to personal style. It is one’s window to self-expression. Accordingly it’s unacceptable to cram one’s individuality using a single term.

Praise diversity and those who fight for it.

 

- Contributed by Pisces.

Tags: femininity, gender identity, lesbian, young