Habibi. Shta2tilik.

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I don’t know why I felt I had to leave.
Why I didnt question it.
Why I’m so hardheaded.
Why I feel like I’m about to explode.

It’s been 3 days now.
I cant stop crying.
We decided to stop speaking.
Not completely. Just to stop.

I hate how our conversations have become.
I hate how much much I regret it.
I hate how self-destructive I am.
I hate how I can’t stop crying.
I hate how I feel I can’t fix this.
Although I can. I know I can.
but it doesn’t feel like I can.

I won’t forgive myself.
For how I left you.

You were always different.
You wouldn’t let one day go by
Without telling me how beautiful you think I am.
Not one day. Not a single day.
When I tell you ” habibi inteh l7ilwe!
You shrug it off, you say no.
It still kills me how you don’t believe how beautiful you are.

When I met you I remember telling my friend
“3youna bi lam3o!! Ye7re2 3ardon bi lam3o!!
Musta7eel!! Bi3a2do!! Bi3a2do!!”

Music always connected us.
We had that kind of instant spark.
Since we’ve met till this day,
At least once a day we’d say the same thing.
we’d both be in shock. Laugh. Move on.

The first time we slept together.
We couldn’t stop laughing.
She was so nervous.
I was paralyzed by the amount of cuteness.
We laughed.
It was 3 hours of pure laughter.
I’ve had my best orgasms with her.

Every time I’d come close to her “ken y2ash3er badana
I’d get sparks and electricity through my veins.

Nothing like you and I.

Contributed by Falafel.

Guest Contributor

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