“Mom, (insert awkward question here)?”

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In anticipation of our special issue on the “One Day, One Struggle” campaign, we asked our readers, friends and supporters to tell us the curious and awkward questions they started asking themselves or other people as a way to learn more about and understand their bodies while growing up. From first periods, to hairy legs, to sex, to same-sex attraction, to the place babies come from, at a young age, there’s a lot to wrap our heads around. Just read the diverse replies we received. And if you’d like to share your experiences, post them in the comments box below.

My father (who I did not grow up with most of my life) gave me the most honest answer about sex as a form of embrace, and I remember asking him completely scandalized: “You mean YOU had sex?! My grandmother had sex?!”

-Suneela

At the age of 13, I asked my teacher how a person would know if they were homosexual, and whether it was normal for me not to feel attracted to any guys at my age. Her answer was: “In three years’ time, you’ll be laughing at this whole thing and at yourself for worrying about it.” A year later, I told the same teacher that I was still struggling with the issue; this time, her answer was: “If you think about it too much, you’ll become like that.” I never asked her anything about that issue again. Three years later, I still wasn’t laughing about it, the questions kept forming, they still are.

- Emcee

I was in the bedroom with my sister and her best friend, we were all having a girls talk and that is when I asked if it was normal and if any of them had ever been sexually attracted to girls?

The reaction was way different than what I expected. I got the “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW that is disgusting”; “beurk….. (gag)…. I’m going to throw up just hearing the words sexual, attraction and girl in a same sentence!!”
The other question I asked that had anything to do with “changing bodies” was about the whole virginity issue. I remember I asked my nanny about it and the answer I got then was: “Ya benti lezem t7afzi 3ala charafik w 3ala nafsik. Lezem tddali benet.”
Other than that, we never really had to ask about anything, my parents had gotten us a game when we were about 10. The game’s name was “comment naissent les bébés?” (Where do babies come from?). We had a book that dealt with everything from puberty with boys and girls to giving birth… all in the smallest details.
The only time we had a “sex talk” at home was when my mom gathered me and my sisters. She basically just told us that sex is not something to be taken lightly for it has consequences. I remember her telling us that if the day comes and we want to go through with it to make sure that we are doing it because we want to and not because everyone else is doing it and to make sure that the guy (she didn’t know she had a queer daughter then for her to say “or girl”) is someone that means to us so that the memory we have of our first time remains a good one even if the act itself wasn’t all that good.

- Rhea

When I first had my period, I was in Sweden visiting family. I would keep going to the toilet to change my panties, not understanding what was going on. When I told my mom, she called my aunt, and they started the celebrations, wililililili! Tishtik tamtam! They called everyone in Beirut to tell them I had gotten my period! When we were back in Beirut, everyone greeted me with joy. However, when it came to my regular hang outs with the guys, I found out that I wasn’t allowed to play football with them anymore. When I asked my mom why, she would simply say: “Because you’ve changed.” I was 9 years old, how had I changed? I didn’t understand. I really wanted to play football with the rest of them. And I did.

- Koi-Fish

When I was 10, I found out that men had wet dreams. I was so annoyed by the idea that women couldn’t have wet dreams. I thought it was completely unfair. At the age of 16, I found out that this wasn’t true. I called a sheikh to ask him about whether wet dreams were normal or not. I was so worried. He said it was completely normal, but that I needed to shower in the morning.

- Zee

The only question that took me a while to understand was how women had sex together without a penis. When I asked my teacher, she kicked me out of class. I was 14 years old. It took me two years of wondering and questioning before I came across www.pornhub.com. It all made so much more sense since then.

- SuQun el Leil

At the age of 10, I cornered my mom (I was already taller than her) and asked her: “Where do babies come from?” I already knew the answer, but I wanted to see if she knew about it. She wouldn’t tell me.

- Rouba

When I was 8, my mom used to drag me to get my legs waxed. I didn’t understand why my brother had the privilege of looking like a gorilla and I didn’t.

- Shaniqua

When I was 7 years old, I used to stare for hours at the last page in the dictionary: The male and female anatomy. Men’s genitalia intrigued me, they were so different. I decided to ask my mom why I didn’t have a penis, she slapped me.

- Rita

My mother sat me down when I was 10 years old and explained to me everything she thought I needed to know about sex, periods, how men ejaculated inside women, everything. And by everything I mean, everything. I remember running outside of the room and feeling so disgusted.

- Sara

When I was 13, the kids at school started talking about homosexuality in the playground. The principal was so traumatized by the idea and asked our teacher to give us a session on sex. He held such a serious face throughout the session, everyone was so nervous. He explained to us the basics of sex between men and women and concluded with “the fact” there’s no need to discuss male-on-male or female-on-female sex because it never actually happens.

- Ishtar

When my cousin was seven years old, he asked me how babies came out of a mother’s womb. I explained to him that women’s anatomies were different from men’s.

- Athena

When I was six, I went to summer camp. There was an old guy from whom we always bought ice cream. Once, he grabbed me and kissed me. I thought this was how babies were made. I spent three days in my room wondering what I would do if I had a baby.

I once caught my parents having sex. I opened the door and went in asking them: ”What are you doing?” in all innocence. My mom said: “Nothing, go back to your room!” It wasn’t until years later that I realized they were actually having sex.

- Shant

When I was little, I heard that when baby girls were born, we were supposed to put bat blood on their skin so that they wouldn’t become too hairy when they grew up. It was a superstition that many women in my family often repeated. One day, I came across a dead bat in a park, and I remember obsessing about it. I wanted to get it to protect future generations of women!

- Nadz

I remember the look of disgust on my friends’ faces when we went back to school after the summer holidays and they saw my hairi legs. We all had hairi legs last time I had checked. There was only one question on my mind: Why shouldn’t I have hairi legs? What had changed? Why?

- Phoenix

Tags: Bekhsoos, body, comic, family, growing up, homosexuality, humor, lebanon, lesbian, sex, sexuality, society