34 Reasons Why People Are Gay
(7 votes, average: 4.86 out of 5)
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This week, while the rest of the country was discussing the upcoming possible war, and while Al-Jaras thanked those who closed down ACID, and while some of us wrote, some hung around cafes editing, and others spent relaxing weekends away from the world at the end of nowhere, some of the Bekhsoosians and their friends decided to answer that annoying question: “Why are you gay?”
People ask, as if we have a choice, and as if the reason we aren’t is the key to “un-gay” us and make us straight again. So here are our reasons:
[Note: As used below, the word gay means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Intersex, and any other variation of that]
1. I am gay because of “The Little Mermaid” and Sebastian’s song “Under The Sea” – “Darling, it’s better down where it is wetter…” – I mean come onnnn….
2. I am gay because mom used to add rice to my milk bottle.
3. I am gay because of Nicole Kidman’s nose in “The Hours”.
4. I am gay because my parents got me Batman instead of Barbie.
5. I am gay because I stopped wearing pantyhose when I was 8.
6. I am gay because of the Ally McBeal (Calista Flockhart) and Ling Woo (Lucy Liu) kiss on November 1, 1999.
7. I am gay because of the way my neighbour kenit tenshour el ghasilet 3al balcon.
8. I am gay because of my history and geography teacher. And Istanbul.
9. I am gay because my mom 2edra.
10. I am gay because it’s 3ayb.
11. I am gay because straight is boring.
12. I am gay because of Gillian Anderson and her suits in “The X-Files”.
13. I am gay because of 13 years spent in a catholic school with nuns.
14. I am gay because I love salmon sushi.
15. I am gay because of “Captain Majid” and “Captain Rabi7.”
16. I am gay because I want to drive when I’m on a date.
17. I am gay because of Christina Ricci in “Casper” and “The Adams Family”.
18. I am gay because my mom constantly fed me mangos as a child.
19. I am gay because men’s pants are so much cooler.
20. I am gay because of Madonna (period).
21. I am gay because of Take That’s “How Deep Is Your Love” music video.
22. I am gay because I used to pretend I was Color Kid with a rainbow towel.
23. I am gay because of Mr. Darcy.
24. I am gay because women in my family like walking around the house naked.
25. I am gay because of Catherine Deneuve.
26. I am gay because men don’t have big boobs.
27. I am gay because I watched too much Manga.
28. I am gay because I went to a Catholic school.
29. I am gay because of “Xena: Warrior Princess”.
30. I am gay because of Fairuz.
31. I am gay because boys smell.
32. I am gay because the first time I masturbated, it was to gay sex.
33. I am gay because my parents got divorced when I was 1-month-old, and since then I’ve been looking for security ans stability in same-sex relationships.
34. I am gay because women are beautiful.
Contributed by the lovely people at Bekhsoos and friends
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