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“What a fuckin’ fine piece of art,” he said.

Well, in a club, sometimes “street slang” is considered sexy considering how sober you are.

She giggled.

- Where you from?

- Haha! Seriously? We’re in B0 and you’re asking me where from? [thinking in a bitter loud voice]

- 7elo shaklak! Step up wlo! Ma kena mbalsheen tamem!

- Hmm.. Ok I guess it was the wrong first question.

- Awlak?! [looking flirty but not really!]

- Ok, you seem like a nice girl and everything – Is he straight?

- ESSORRYY?! [looking like someone who just shoved a tube]

- 3an meen 3am te7ke?

- The guy next to you the one with the blue polo.

- Yeah ya okhte, he’s my ex-boyfriend-turned-friend since we know the same people.

“God i should find new friends” [Phrase running in her mind]

- Are you sure?

- Eh eh, metel ma 3am elak yih?!

- Really? I mean you’re positive we’re talking about the same guy?

- GOD? why do you hate me? Eh khaye! Straight and it’s the same guy you’re talking about!

- Ok sorry about the question, yalla enjoy your night, cheers!

- Ayri fik! tole3 striaghty el sabe!

- Says who? I’m 100 % that he’s not! I know the guy! Hell, I even slept with him! Come with me, I’ll show you. Plus hon ktir shob w 3aja2it ufft!

- LAA2! I can’t believe my eyes, Wadi3?!

Now, let’s pause and discuss Wadi3‘s reaction for a moment. Rewind the friend’s statement in the back of your head and imagine it:

Wadi3 dancing with his friend, his ex-girlfriend-turned-friend (again, unwillingly, because of “the same people” and all that crap) and the new girl (who is damn ugly, by the way), confident, with his ego above the moon bi shway, taking a sip from his Vodka-Se7en-Up, choking when the guy talked to him, with some serious eye-rolling w ya ard enshade w bla3ini signals going on.

- Hahahayyy! How are you habibi?

- Good good, eb2a khalini shoufak, I miss you babe, yiiii to2bora!

- Akid, akid [awkward smile] Habibi walah!

She was shocked! She just saw the guy who was asking her about her ex-boyfriend – who she had been with for three years – and his very, and I mean, very indiscreet, out and proud friend talking to him. She saw the bad trip he just had, and all the awkwardness on his face!

[With a victory look, looking like he just won the lottery, bala zoghra]

- Sorry demoiselle, but I’m afraid to tell you that he’s not straight. W hay samsamtik khafefeya! Mnee7! Mano byeklo bel meter ex-ik!

Contributed by Rami M.

Guest Contributor

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