Gender Blender

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Bigender, genderqueer, transgender! No matter how you try to define me, I do not care, because at the end of the day I define myself inside my head and express my identity not only through my physical appearance but also through all the dynamics and relationships that I shape, take part in and such.

I understand the need of people to want to change their sex because it is essential to their expression.  I do not wish to do so. I enjoy oscillating on the gender meter according to my desires.

What I have an issue with is the somewhat institutionalized transformation pushing people into boxes and encouraging them to abide by one sex or gender or another, making it easier to identify them, and rendering them less of a threat to society.

What I am trying to say is that there are transsexuals amongst us going through unimaginable hardships to break the system and towards whom I have great esteem. But I would also like a space for the people who do not wish to undergo a physical transformation and yet consider themselves transgressive of gender identities.

I don’t want to have to abide to gendered pronouns and that is mainly why I enjoy the Armenian language in which they are inexistent.

I want to be able to express my sexuality in any way it pleases me. When I am with my partner in a physical act I do not perceive my biological sex as a limiting factor because I can imagine it to be whatever I wish it to be and modify it however I need to, with or without props. And I don’t want to be called versatile, stone butch, she-male or whatnot because as I mentioned above, it oscillates, converges, transforms…

Do I make much sense? It is a difficult thing for me to express and as I write this article I realize how much of a hard time I have putting it all in writing.

One model of femininity or masculinity based on a certain physical appearance is being advanced to the denial of all others and I feel that it fails to encompass me.

So some feel like women trapped in men’s bodies, some men feel trapped in female bodies; I feel like a man and a woman live in my body side by side and I express them depending on circumstances, feelings, moods and everything in between.

- Contributed by S.

Guest Contributor

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