Dear Mum

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Dear Mum.

I am sorry I don’t fit in your family.

I am sorry I cannot relate to your “Fer2it 7asballah lil Rakes al Sharki.”

I am sorry I can debate with the men in the family when they get into a talk that requires brains, instead of sitting silently like the rest of the girls and looking pretty. Sorry 3al jorsa 3anjad.

I’m sorry that neither my body nor my brain fit the “Taille 1,” and that my dream was never to grow up to be a “top model.”

I’m sorry I find your shallow conversations silly while the world is starving.

I’m sorry my favorite hobby isn’t shopping.

I’m sorry I got a degree instead of a “3arees.”

I’m sorry I got a job instead of prostituting myself into an economical marriage.

Mum, I’m sorry that cleaning the house is not what I believe I was born to do, and being a housewife is not my biggest passion.

I’m sorry I am not really into the glittery fashion; I’m sorry you will not see me in your dream white dress, and that I would pick my Converse over heels any day.

I’m sorry I prefer books to oriental dance.

I’m sorry I go to the beach to swim and not to tan.

I’m sorry I prefer eating to starving myself to death.

Mummy, I’m sorry I didn’t turn out to be the girl you dreamed I would be, and that although I might physically resemble you quite a lot, I will never look like you, and I will never be you.

Mum, I’m sorry I don’t shut up when somebody takes my rights.

I’m sorry I can’t hide who I am.

Dear Mum,

I’m sorry that I neither am sorry, nor will I ever be sorry, that I grew up to be that dyke.

Dear Mum,

You raised me for years,

You – above all people – taught me tolerance,

You were the one who gave me those books that stirred up the revolution in me, you fed my intelligence, you taught me how to stand up for myself, you paid for my education, and from you I learned how to love, no matter how fucked up love may be. J

You must’ve done something right all these years; I turned out to be who I am.

Dear Mum,

I’m sorry I don’t fit in those dresses and heels, but I’m not sorry that I don’t have a whole society on my back to please!

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