As My Homophobic Mother Says…

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crazy_mom” Bas inti benet Allah..w banat Allah manoun souhakyat”

“ But I don’t wanna die and not see you with me in heaven”

” Ana rabet benet 3a2leh w m2adabeh.. ana ma haik rabit.. fi shi 3′alat.. shu hieh el khatieh yali 3melta”

“Marrige will change your whole idea about sex”

“I totally understand that you like girls, and there is nothing i can do about it.. but is there any hope at all that you could change.. like have you ever heard of a doctor that could help you.. I would pay up to 10,000 $ if I had to.”

—- Contributed By Jo

“It’s all your father’s fault, that wussy! I knew I should have married a man.”

“Hmmm. I know JUST the guy for you. Abou el Jamejim has had his eye on you anyway. You will get engaged to him tomorrow. Now go to your room and pluck your eyebrows. And call the estheticienne and make an appointment for your nails.”


“It’s all the fault of those bitches you hang out with.”

“Alo MEA? One ticket to South Africa please. Thank you. *turns to daughter* I hear their “lesbian corrective rapes” are blooming these days. You’ll become straight whether you like it or not.”

—— Contributed By Jay

Denial phase:
“Aslan haydah mish mazboot, w ba3dein leih btikraheeneh hal add?”
“Leih ilteeleh? Mabaddeh a3rif, matouleeleh!”

Anger phase:
“Haydah akel khara mama”
“Baddik yeineh moot? khalleeneh mout, mish a7sanleh moot?”

——- Contributed by Shax

-  خالتك بتعرف دكتور شاطر كتير، عالج ابنها لمن طلع شاذ… بكرا من الصبح منروح لعندو… ونحنا وراجعين منمرق عند “أم الهول” تشفلك نصيبك وفتك المربوط… كل عمري عارفة انو مرت عمك الحية كتبتلنا وسحرتلنا تا ما يجي نصيبك..

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