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anonymousInside a smokeless New York bar,
I sip my drink
And watch her
Watching me
pretend not to notice.
And I could, I decide,
be a Third World victim
to her First World Jesus
An anonymous queerarabmuslimwoman
for an anonymouswhitegirl
with anonymous white guilt
and a penchant for dramatic intervention.
“It’s ok if you need more time”, she says,
“it must be hard being queer where you’re
I could, at this point,
suppress my giggle and my desire
to smack her upside the head,
Maybe let my eyes melt a little
in ribbons of brown and black,
trailing off as the image of the oppressive
she imagines
superimposes itself onto my pupils.
Perhaps a hard, confirmatory stare into the
before I let her take me home
and initiate me into a world of
freedom, democracy, and liberty for all
(hiding, I presume, between cream-colored
I could do all this quite easily
and pretend not to get a kick out of it.
But I won’t, and
I could say it’s because I come from
where the cedar trees grow,
strong, rooted, and willful.
I could say it’s because I come from
where Jesus wasn’t fair-skinned and blue-eyed,
and where freedom doesn’t come in massive,
consumable portions.
I could say all this quite easily,
but as I get up to walk away
from my anonymouswhitegirl,
I glance sideways at someone else
and think to myself:
Sure, I’ll be a victim for some of that.

Driven by the promise of a new tomorrow, Shax is prone to the occasional bout of gratuitous intellectual wankery which she unleashes upon the world through the unsuspecting pages of Bekhsoos and other online fora. In her spare time, she enjoys eating while watching the food channel and thinking about long walks on the beach.

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