This Fucking Game
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This is the game we play.
It starts with a subtle understanding that the game is on. It is always a game of power negotiation. You look at me like you’ve finally acknowledged my desire for you. The tease, the playfulness, the climax. The process of bringing out all the sexualities inside us. It is a game, every time.
…
We got into an argument about whose dildo it was.
Our complex and simple relationship with that piece of rubber. You said it was yours because it gave you more pleasure.
“Why do you think that?” I asked.
“Because I’m the one who takes it inside me.”
“But it gives me more pleasure when I put it inside you.”
“You can’t possibly enjoy it as much as I do. It may be your dick but it is mine.”
I still think it is more mine than hers.
…
We had bought it together at the sex shop.
“How about this one?” I said.
“Mm… that’s too small.”
“Too small? Really?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure? It looks good to me.”
“Yeah? And are you the one who’s going to be taking it up their pussy?”
[pause]
“No.”
“Ok, then I’m the one who chooses and that one’s too small. I want a really big one.”
“Ok, fine, but I want to feel like it’s my dick too.”
“What would your dick look like?”
“It would be really big.”
“Ok then, we are in agreement!” she smiled.
…
“You are so fucking hot, I can’t take my hands off of you.”
“I like it when you can’t resist me.”
“How anyone can resist you, I don’t understand. Your body should be public property. Anyone who wants to should be able to fuck you.”
“Mm. I want everyone to fuck me. I love it when you dirty talk about other people fucking me.”
“You know, I could never get hot without dirty talking.”
“I know. Sometimes when you’re close to cumming, you forget the scenario and just blurt out sex words.”
I laugh, “Really? I haven’t noticed.”
…
I have a strong urge to dominate you completely
When you are in my arms, I have to own you. I want you to struggle under the weight of my body. Go on, try to break free of my grip and you can’t. You are completely mine and you will love every moment of it.
“Why is it that I get such a kick out of dominating you in bed?” I asked you.
“I think it has to do with your possessiveness. You want me to be completely yours.”
“Is that normal?”
“Of course it’s normal and I love it.”
“Why do you love it when you are dominated?”
“I like to feel surrendered and helpless with you. Your desire is sexy. I get wet just thinking of it.”
[pause]
“Also,” you added. “You think you are in complete control, but you’re not. I’m the one who has you completely wrapped up in me. I’m the one who gives you the privilege.”
“Isn’t consensual forced sex funny?”
“It’s hot.”
…
I like putting on my cock in secret before I come to bed.
I hide it under my pajama pants because you always like surprises. You let out a little delightful squeal when you discover it and you know I’m going to fuck you really hard tonight.
“Did you cum?” you ask me after.
“Yes, I came when you were sucking my dick.”
“Really? That early on? You cum too fast.”
“I try to hold it. You take so long to cum.”
…
I could always cum just by humping you.
You found it a little strange at the beginning that I didn’t need any physical stimulation. Didn’t even need to take your clothes off. My rocking movement against your ass gives me better orgasms than anything else. It has always amused you.
“You are like a man,” you said.
“I am way better,” I smiled at you, trying to hide the hundred years of shame I felt for wanting to fuck with a dick. The shame of betraying a lesbian sisterhood that celebrated the female body. The thought that if you’d want a dick to fuck you, you would get the real thing from a real man.
“Actually, you are like a gay man. You always go for my ass,” you interrupted my thoughts.
“I love your ass.”
“I love your dick.”
“Do you prefer that I use the word dick instead of cock? Cock turns me on more.”
“Use whatever you like as long as you fuck me long and hard.”
[pause]
“Do you prefer that I say ayrik or ayrak?” you asked.
“Hmm. I don’t mind either. It depends on the context.”
“Which context?”
“Whatever fantasy we’re playing out.”
“Isn’t it funny that we have the same sexual fantasies?”
“It’s perfect. You’re my soul mate sex mate. Do you think everyone has the same fantasies?”
“No, I’m sure people are different. Aren’t there things that don’t turn you on?”
“Vanilla sex.”
She laughs, “how come we’ve never had sweet, soft sex?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I start out with that intention and then I end up roughing it up. I cant do that sweet stuff. Do you really think I’m like a man?”
“No, I don’t. You’re all butch.”
[pause]
“I really like butches.”
…
– Contributed by Hoodie
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