23-Year-Old “Virgin”
(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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I have long been perplexed by the type of sex advice I have received from my friends. Why not give it a try, just for the experience? You don’t know what you’re missing out on; sex with the right person is mind-blowing. You should use what you have now until you get the body you feel you belong in.
As a transman, I am not as comfortable with my body or sex as my lesbian, gay or cisgendered straight friends seem to be. It seems they don’t understand my specific level of body dysphoria. If I was comfortable with my body, I wouldn’t work so hard towards getting out of it. To me, having sex while I’m still in this body would mean I’m not only comfortable enough to keep living in it, but that I’m more than okay with having another person embrace it as well. This has never been the case. It took me 20 years to be comfortable enough to kiss a girl. My body is not a welcoming place for myself, let alone for another person. I am not innocent. I have shown my love to previous girlfriends and did what I felt comfortable doing in bed, but I have never been comfortable enough to receive “sex”. I’ve joked about being a giver, not a taker, but come to think of it, I’m not much of a giver either. I have never given oral sex, and trying to prove you are man enough in bed, despite your lack of penis, is really difficult if you don’t find the right way to make her feel good.
I have friends in the trans community that have had “sex” in one form or the other. I always laugh to myself when I look back and remember the times I referred to my previous experiences as “sex”. My notion of good sex has always been that I find pleasure in the thought of giving her pleasure. And years from now, when I’ve completed the surgical phases of my transition, I will probably be curious to try that mind-blowing sex everyone keeps talking about. I will probably WANT oral sex. I will no longer turn red when the topic is brought up. Until then, I’ll seek pleasure from being picked on as the 23-year-old virgin.
- Contributed by RJ
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