The Ex Factor(s)
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Disclaimer: The author chooses to replace the “y” at the end of words with an “i” due to personal taste. It is not a typo. In case you find a “y” at the end of a word, it would be a typo indeed. Please report it to the team. Gracias!
You broke up.
The parti’s ended.
You wonder why you ever got into such a relationship.
You swear you will never let her see your face again.
And then you let go.
You attend other parties.
Seasons turn before you start forming a human image of her again. She suddenli calls. You speak over the telephone. You snap and shout at each other, backhanding accusations from one side of the court to the other.
You spill a cup of coffee as a peace offering and you work out your misunderstandings. She holds your hand. She starts to look cute for an ex-monster.
You go on with your life, but you’re left with a warm feeling inside. Like the seat in that cosi corner of your heart has been filled again. The happi memories re-immerge and you start thinking: What if?
What if in a different time (now), and under different circumstances (current), you were to start seeing your ex-girlfriend again? Would you still disagree on the minor details that caused you to drift apart? Would you walk that extra mile just to make her smile? Would she still hog the sheets?
Is it realli a good idea to start dating your ex again or are you actualli sinking into a sea of delusion?
How can you make a decision?
To start with, you need to consider the circumstances that originalli led to the break-up. Do they still stand? You don’t want to get carried away with shallow emotions before you make sure the commitment will be on a higher level. Then, you must ask yourself if you’re willing to make changes to patch-up the holes in your relationship. Clearli it takes two to tango, and you don’t want to be the one with two left feet.
You could say that relationships are similar to business deals, like ani form of commitment between two partners. It is based on the need for demand and supply. Yet the [heart] factor eliminates ani sort of logic from the relationship. Throw in some lesbian drama and your enterprise will go bankrupt. If capitalism were a lesbian relationship, anarchists would be picking flowers right now.
Considering the neediness factor, do you and your ex still meet each other’s needs? Will she be the ideal candidate that can ampli fill your vacanci? Time and experience change people. Events such as a break-up can push people towards personal growth, and sometimes to drugs and alcohol. It’s okay to carri a long face and get pissed drunk for a while until you are capable of getting back on your feet, as long as you reliaze it’s onli temporari. What matters in the end is that whatever change both sides have underwent can be planished to serve the partnership.
The most important factor that remains at hand: love. Are you still in love with your ex? Do you wish to share one more meal with her? Do you sit –now– alone by the sea, and think “what if” you had both been living in Barcelona?
Your feelings are your own. You are the onli one who is capable of seing through the past and glimpsing into the future to synthesize a harmonious present. Love will be the greatest motivator for you to gather up the broken pieces and make an exceptional collage out of them.
Dating your ex seems like re-visiting an old old book. You could start reading it again when you suddenli realize there is nothing left for you to seek animore; or you could discover some new details you missed out on the first time that can make your heart grow further. If you do, why not take a chance on your ex-lover? Happiness could be a chapter in your favourite book.
Phoenix is a self-centered and sarcastic soul incarnated, perhaps by accident, in the bodi of a woman. As a writer with a temper, she replaces her "y's with an annoying “i” for aesthetical purposes and lives to crack a joke, at the expense of others. Her paranoid nature makes her sensitive to plants, animals and people. Ironicalli, after making fun of the Meem lesbians for years, she found a warm home there and is now renowned as its veri own emotional pest. She enjoys reading the paper with a hot cup of black tea while nude, more often than not.
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