Masturbation: A Tribute to Us

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We often come across the questions: When was the first time you had sex? Who was it with? Was it good? Did you cum? Were you comfortable? We almost always answer: I was X years old, her/his name was Y, she/he was my…

We, however, never answer: I had sex with myself and it was amazing, my fingers were great, I was 12 (or 7, or 10, or 16, or 18, or 23, or 30). For some reason, we seem to overlook our earliest sexual discoveries in favor of those that we share with other people.

These contributed stories, whose authors chose to remain anonymous, are a tribute to us: to our hands and fingers, to our dildos, and to the numerous ways we have discovered, and still are discovering, to love and please ourselves.

1.

The year was 1999, and I was 12. I was at the hairdresser’s, waiting for my turn, when I saw Cosmo magazine. I came across the sex columns and read about some recommended and illustrated sex positions. I felt flushed as I read more and more; I didn’t realize what was happening to me, but I knew that I was experiencing a heightened state of arousal and incremental pleasure as I rubbed my thighs together and kept on reading. I wondered if anyone else had an idea of what I was doing or if they could tell from my flushed face, but that didn’t keep me from “persevering”. What happens if I continue? Does the pleasure keep increasing? Am I going to explode? And there it was; an immense rush that spread through me – I came for the first time!  Cumming answered my questions at that time, but I still often enjoy checking that answer’s reproducibility.

2.

First came air…

It started at the age of approximately 7 when her dad used to take her along to the garage to assist him in fixing the CATs. She was so curious to discover new things and used to play with each and every hand and power tool in the garage.

First came air. The little girl aimed that air pressure hose at her clit. She felt weird sensations. She liked it. Yes, she liked it without knowing what the heck was going on.

The trips to the garage stopped; she missed the air pressure hose and had to find an alternative pressure. Pressure…? Eureka – water pressure!

Then came water…

The little girl started taking more time in the bathroom and everyone used to wonder what was flowing. Quite careless, she was waiting for this moment to cum. Then, she heard her sister telling her that water pressure could harm her but she couldn’t care less and kept on moving.

She didn’t even know what she was doing until she got her period. How would she know what it was? She kept doing it without realizing it till the age of 12, when she finally learned its name: Masturbation.

At the age of 16-17, she started using her fingers, and that is when The Buttons’ Discovery Journey began…

3.

The first time I masturbated was the first time I knew I’m attracted to women. I fantasized about women. It was a battle with myself. My imagination would go to boobs, and suddenly noticing, I would drag it back to man’s chest; the pleasure disappeared until I would think of boobs again. Jaretna kenit ktir sexy shu ba3mel. I was 19. Yes, 19, but mind you, the moment I started masturbating, I spent the rest of the years making up for what I had missed. I find masturbation one of the most pleasurable things in life. It helps me discover my body and it teaches me billions of things I would’ve never known with anyone but myself.

4.

I don’t remember when I started masturbating; I remember it was something that I did that gave me some sort of pleasure. I remember not orgasming but enjoying my discovery nonetheless. Eventually (I think I was 11 or 12), I learned that what I was doing was masturbation, I learned the “proper” way to have sex, and I wanted to know what it felt like. This is when I started to consciously masturbate. I wanted to find something that resembled a penis (not knowing what a penis looked like. At the time I had only seen my 5 months old cousin’s while being changed). I took off my watch and used it. I wanted to see how far I could push it in, how it would feel to have something inside of me; I never used my finger, I thought it was disgusting and dirty. That was the night I broke my hymen. It was very exciting to see the hymen come out of me, so the next night I did the same. For an entire week, I would unsuccessfully try to see if I could get more of my hymen out. After a few months (maybe a year) of trying to imitate “straight proper” sex, I discovered the clitoris and had my first orgasm. I still didn’t use my fingers; I still thought I would be touching something forbidden, dirty.

Masturbation was a forbidden act for me. It was coupled with religion, parents, the intact-hymen complex, and marriage among other things. It took me years to accept pleasure as a right, years to touch myself with my own hands and make myself cum, years to admit that I enjoy it.

Tags: masturbation, personal story, pleasure, sex, society, virginity