I Love To Suck My Girlfriend’s Cock!
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I love to suck my girlfriend’s cock. I love teasing it, licking the tip, taking the shaft into my mouth, and stroking it with my hand in rhythm with the workings of my mouth. I love my girlfriend’s face as she watches me worship her cock, her lips open in pleasure and her eyes luminous with desire. I love feeling her get wet and beg for my fingers as I give her a blowjob. I love the elements of play, possibility, and fantasy that our strap-on injects into our sex life.
I love it when she surprises me, when she presses against me and I feel her need for my body while touching me through our clothes. I love it when she places herself at the mouth of my vagina and makes me beg for her to come into me. I love it when she fucks me and moans with each thrust as the base of her cock rubs against her clitoris. I love having her hands, mouth, and body pressed against me as she is inside me. I love how her pelvis stimulates my clitoris as she pushes herself in and out of me. I love the film of sweat that develops between us as we struggle to fit our bodies together tightly and completely. It makes me thirsty.
Sometimes my girlfriend’s cock makes me want her fingers, because one appendage cannot possibly be enough to satisfy my need to be filled by her in every way possible. Sometimes I don’t want it inside of me at all, and I place its shaft against me as I straddle my girlfriend and ride her, teasing both of us to orgasm. Sometimes I want to watch my girlfriend play with her cock. She looks sexy with a hard-on. Sometimes, the sight of her hard-on is enough to make me want to throw her cock away in frustration because I can’t wait to taste her cunt. It makes me hungry.
No, my girlfriend does not have a penis and does not want to have a penis. I do not want her to have a penis. If I wanted to sleep with a man, I would, and I have, as has she. In fact, she enjoys sex with men (much) more than I do. And yes, when we have sex without a strap-on, it is still completely satisfying and hot. In fact, most of the times we do not use any toys. But this piece of writing is about dildos, and more specifically, about my relationship to my girlfriend’s strap-on and its relationship to our diverse, and active, sex life.
My girlfriend’s cock is not a penis. The argument that a dildo is interchangeable with a penis and that therefore, women who desire dildos would also desire penises is reductive and not very convincing. After all, penises and dildos are both attached to bodies, and I am attracted to complete bodies, not (only) body parts. This argument reduces sexual desire and pleasure to the physical, and within the physical, to the genital. Furthermore, the theory that since I like to suck my girlfriend’s cock I will also like sucking penises, or since I like to be fucked by my girlfriend when she is strapping I should also like being fucked by a bio-man, is homophobic. In these arguments, usually the sentence “might as well be with a man,” is uttered, as if, all things being equal, of course I would rather be with a bio-man. Even worse, such a sentence reinforces the idea that lesbian sex, in this variation, is somehow less than sex with a man. In my experience, this could not be further from the truth.
I believe that masculinity and femininity are not bound to gender or bio-sex, and that in fact they are always simultaneously expressed in men and women. Men do not own masculinity, and women do not have a purchase on femininity. Furthermore, femininity and masculinity are not normative values and do not have a stable meaning or expression. They are, along with gender and sex, constructed, and because they are inherently unstable, they are open to play. When my girlfriend straps it on, or when I strap it on her, this area of play is highlighted. Personally, I find it liberating to perform gender, to perform my bio-body, and to perform my femininity, which is sometimes masculine. When I rip open a condom packet with my teeth and roll the latex onto my girlfriend’s cock, I know that it is (partly) a performance. When she thrusts into my mouth with a feverish urgency, I know that it is (partly) a performance. I don’t feel like I have to have an “answer”, or an analysis as to what is being performed in each instance. I don’t really care to know, because whatever it is, it is convincing. It turns her on, and it turns me on. Isn’t that what sex is supposed to be about?
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