To my mom…

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To my mom,

My everything, my idol, my life partner, the person who witnessed my life from the moment I came to life, to you mom…

You are the reason I am the person that I am today and the source of my every strength.

This article is supposed to be about my relationship with my mother as a queer woman but being the emotional person that I am, I am unable to express what I really mean to others.  Every time I try, I find myself writing about something else.

So, to you, my mom,

I accept you. I accept your homophobia because you fear for me from something you don’t know and don’t understand.

I accept that you won’t rest until I am married with kids and to a man who supports me because you were taught growing up that a woman is nothing without a man protecting her and as a single mom you saw how cruel the world can be to a single divorced woman.

I accept that you cannot stand the thought of someone being gay and you think it is a one-way ticket to hell because your love for your religion is beyond sexuality and unfortunately, this is how men have interpreted religion to be and what they convinced you to think.

I accept that you never tried to show interest in my activism and that it was a joke to you because somehow you do not see that change can happen and to you, people should cut their losses and just walk along the sides of the wall so people won’t walk all over them.

I accept that it took you 6 years to come and tell me that you knew that I was queer. I guess you were waiting for the moment that you were ready to hear whatever response I had.

I accept that the other day you mentioned that you wanted to see me married even though a week ago you talked to me about how you know about my love for women and you allowed me to explain to you how this is really me. At the same time, I know that you think: “Tomorrow Z will get married and I will be left all alone.” I think deep down you like the idea of me sticking around as part of your family and your name.

I accept your homophobia because this is what they taught you. Your homophobia is a fear from the unknown. And you don’t know me, but soon you will understand that this is me, and this is my life, the life that I chose and I am sure you will support a life that is chosen by me and not forced on me by society.

So you, mom, are suffering from homophobia, which is stopping you from seeing your real kids. I don’t know how you can live with something in your head all the time; I only have to deal with it sometimes.

To you, my mom, I wish you a revolution that will change your life like my revolution changed me.

Best =)

- Contributed by Z.

Tags: acceptance, coming out, dedication, family, inspiration