Desperately Gay

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Dear Lazizi,
It was about less than a year ago that I had finally realized it, I’m gay and I was finally ready to well meet other men, but I had no idea how. But then I found out about Manjam.com , the gay Facebook if I can say. I created a profile, put a pic and began “socializing”. An 18 year old guy added me, he seemed mature with a good profile pic and I thought he was looking for something serious. We started talking, he sent me a photo, I was desperate, I though I had found what I’ve been looking for, so I put on my webcam and he didn’t, soon he said he’s sorry and he wasn’t interested, but we continued talking, and he was very caring he started listening to me and giving me advice when I told him I have never experienced anything with a guy. He then told me that he had to go and that he’s gonna block me on msn but if I ever needed anything, I can message him on manjam . It was all fine , until he sent me a message saying he wanted to apologize. So we talked, and it turned out that he’s 45 and the photos were of his son’s friend. Later he sent me a message saying that he had the videos of me getting naked, and he will use them publicly if I don’t have sex with him whenever he wants. I replied once pleading him not to, but he sent me harder conditions, so I stopped replying and deactivated my manjam and that was the last I heard of him and that was the last time I ever accessed manjam or talked to a gay guy. The thing is that my desperation made me do things I never thought I would do. At this point I really dunno what to do, or how to meet someone who is like me and that I’m attracted to. I’ve never been with someone, because I could never get myself to like a girl and never had a chance to meet a guy, I wanna find love, am I really asking for too much?

George

Dear George,

I’m sorry you had to go through such an experience. You have to be very careful when you meet people online, especially on Manjam since it’s similar to a meat market. Why did you bother to show your face on the webcam anyway? Most guys on Manjam (or Gaydar) have one motto: Hide the face and **** the base. Don’t rush yourself into having sex with strangers since you don’t wanna end up with a grandpa with a smelly base.

Tips for online dating:
- Don’t use a pic showing your face. Try to blur it out on Photoshop or a similar program.
- Take your time when you start chatting with someone before you decide to show your face, whether in photos or on cam. (They can copy your picture from MSN)
- When you go to meet someone for the first time make sure it’s in a public place and tell a friend about it.
- Remember to always use protection!
- It is never asking for too much when you’re asking for love.

What do other people think? Share your ideas with George in the comment boxes below.

Ask Lazizi is a new weekly advice column. Email your questions on love, sex, relationships, or anything you feel like to the very wise Lebanese lesbian Lazizi on

Tags: advice, Ask Lazizi, dating, Gay, manjam, sex